is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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