This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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