I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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