Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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