He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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