So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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