I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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