i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
