Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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