Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
