physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
