garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She's the barista slut.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
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