Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
