can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
