Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
