yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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