yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
