It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
