It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
