i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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