I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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