Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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