I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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