I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
