How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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