I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
