After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
