I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
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