let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
