Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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