I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
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