So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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