I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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