My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
