i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
