I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
