but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
