Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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