My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
