I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
