I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I got inside last night via doggy door
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
