All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
