Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
