There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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