I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
