Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
