just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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