D3 body, D1 cock
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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