Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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