its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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